Cullen Family Values
by VampireChampion73
Summary: After changing five teens who were the sole survivors of a bus crash Carlisle and Esme are now the guardians of five rowdy, hormonal teenage vampires. What could happen? Insanity, that's what. R&R. Rated M for every reason you can think of.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys! I know have so many unfinished stories and I'm gonna finish them all but I have 2 stories I wanna write one is Midnight Sunrise which is already half done and one is this one which I am starting now. Once I am done with Midnight Sunrise I will pick up another of my unfinished stories to go along this one. This will be a long story, longer than most of mine and from now on none of my stories will be under 15 chapters. R&R please.  
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.  
Summary: After a tragic school bus accident leaves several students and teachers dead 2 vampires Carlisle and Esme turn what few survivors there are. Now these 2 must learn how to control the crazy antics of 5 vampire teens. What could go wrong? (Will have varied POV's mostly between the Male Cullen kids as I am not good with female POV's) No newborn vamp craziness, just horny and rowdy teen vamps.

August 4th 1982

Ch.1 Welcome To the Family.  
Jasper's POV.  
I lit up a bowl in the back of the bus as my friends Tyler, Erick and Mike blocked me off from view. I held it in for a minute before letting it out in a coughing fit.  
"Oh fuck me running with a pogo stick." I choked. "That's good shit."

Emmett's POV.  
Rosalie and I sat in our own seat I the cool kids section as she sat on my lap and we made out.  
"I'm gonna fuck you so hard tonight." She growled in my ear.  
"I can't wait." She moaned instantly making my dick hard. At that moment my phone rang and I pulled it from my pocket. It was my mom and she wasn't happy.  
"I just found yours and Rose's dirty condom!" She screamed. "As soon as you return from your trip I'm gonna cut your dick off with a rusty fucking spoon!"  
"Love you mom." I chuckled.  
"Love you too Emmy-bear, give Rosie kisses for me. Her voice turned sweet before switching back. "Rusty spoon." She hung up.

Edward's POV I sat by myself in the back seat of the bus, the smell of weed rolling from the stoner's across the aisle from me. My sister Alice came down from her spot with the cheerleaders and sat next to me.  
"You need to perk up on this trip Mr. Frownypants." She slapped my leg.  
"Why should I perk up?" I asked. "My life is a dark soulless pit full of emptiness, Tanya was my light and now she's in New York sucking the dick of every model, actor or athlete she meets."  
"You'll find another girl to suck you're dick too Eddy-poo." She patted my head and gave me a hug before heading back up to her seat.

3rd Person POV.  
The bus going down winding Tennessee Street was full of Arizona teens all on their way to Washington D.C. to watch the president give a speech, what they didn't know is coming around the corner was danger, a drunk tow truck driver on the wrong side of the rad was busy singing show-tunes in a slurry voice. The truck rounded the corner and the bus driver swerved instantly. He came close to a bluff but tried to jerk away again He bus tail-whipped and began to flip. It busted through the guard rail and began tumbling down a hill.

Carlisle POV.  
I dropped the deer I was draining at the sound of screams. I looked to Esme who simply looked shocked. We bolted to the sound. About 3 seconds later we came to the site of a horrible bus crash, the bus looked like it had been stepped on my Godzilla. A chunk out of the middle of the bus was missing and bodies littered the forest floor. I heard a faint heartbeat about fifty feet away and walked over to a boy who had copious amounts of blood pouring from his head. He had short black hair, was buff and his jacket read McCarty.  
"Esme, we have a survivors, there may be more." I said and she nodded. Within 2 minutes we had laid out five teenagers in front of us who contained signs of life. A blond boy who reeked of blood and marijuana, a pixie like cheerleader, a blonde girl in a red and white outfit , a copper haired boy in a black hoody and the black haired boy we found first.  
"Carlisle they're all children." I saw the look in my lovely wife's eyes, she'd always wanted a child more than anything.  
"I can do it Esme but understand the risk we are taking." She nodded simply and I could tell this is what she wanted. I knelt down next to the Copper headed boy. "Please forgive me." I sank my teeth into his neck.

*3 Days Later*

Carlisle's POV  
I watched cautiously as we awaited the first awakening. The first to wake was the stoner boy. He jumped up and went through the ceiling of the house. When he came back down I walked over to him. And held out my hand.  
"May I help you?" He gave me his hand.  
"What was in that weed?" He asked and I chuckled.  
"If you would wait momentarily I can explain everything." I told him as we waited for the rest of them to wake up. Next was the McCarty kid, followed by the Pixie then the Copper haired boy and last the blonde girl. "Well now that everyone is bright eyed and bushy tailed we can begin." I said. "First what do you all remember last?" I asked. all of their answers were the same, "Flipping down a hill."  
"Ok I am sorry to inform you of the death of your friends and teacher in that crash." I began but the cheerleader cut me off.  
"They all dead?" She asked wide-eyed to which I nodded.  
"I'm afraid so miss?"  
"I'm Alice."  
"Well Alice I'm afraid they are all deceased, you five are the survivors so to speak."  
"So you're a doctor?" The blonde girl asked. I nodded politely.  
"Yes but."  
"This isn't a hospital." The stoner stated. "This is a basement."  
"You ain't a creepy doctor that's gonna experiment on us are you?" McCarty asked. "I ain't into no human centipede bullshit; I fuck ya up you try to sew my mouth to another man's."  
"You are?"  
"Emmett." He said.  
"No I'm not gonna experiment on you."  
"Rape?" He raised an eyebrow.  
"No."  
"Good cause getting ass fucked is not on my to do list."  
"Why don't we all get acquainted." I began. "I am Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife Esme." I pointed to Esme who smiled and waved. _'I hope they don't hate me.' _I thought to myself.  
"Why would we hate you?" Copper boy asked.  
"You heard that?" I asked and he nodded. "Phenomenal" I clapped my hands together. "A mind reader."  
"Huh?" He inquired.  
"Alright, I'll explain everything once we get to know each other's names, yours is?"  
"Edward Masen." He said and I looked to Stoner boy.  
"Jasper Whitlock." I then looked to Blondie.  
"Rosalie Hale." She stated and I nodded.  
"Well children why don't I give you a little history lesson." I led them to the living room and sat them on the couches. "OK back in England in the sixteen hundreds there was a priest named Gabriel who led vampire hunts only weekly occasions to protect his family and his church from them, well as the story has it Gabriel had a son who went on this hunt, his first hunt the boy was young, merely twenty six." I paused momentarily. "Well on this hunt they came across a coven in the sewers under their feet; the priests son came upon a moving manhole, as soon as he was up to it it shot off and out jumped a shadowy figure faster than a bullet, This figure grabs the priest's son and bit him, he began to drink but for some reason he dropped him. The man was able to crawl into an alley way as the burning began; He hid under a pile of potato peels and tried his best to stay quiet. That was the last time the priest's son was ever seen."  
"Your point?" Rosalie asked.  
"I hid under those peels for days, when I came out, I knew I was a monster, a vampire, I tried every way possible to kill or starve myself, I kept away from humans completely until one day, I learned a new way to feed off of animal blood and ever since I half lived in peace alongside humans, I met Esme here in eighteen fifty two."  
"So you're the priests son?" Emmett asked.  
"I was born Carlisle William Cullen on September seventh sixteen twenty-eight."  
"And you're a vampire?" Alice asked. I nodded.  
"Bullshit." Rosalie stated.  
"I believe him." Jasper said. "You made us vampires too?" I nodded again. Rosalie scoffed. "No listen." Jasper continued. "Edward can hear thoughts, our senses are off the charts or at least mine are, and when I woke up I jumped through the ceiling." He pointed to a hole above us.  
"We're listening." Edward said and I began to explain everything and demonstrate proof. By the end of it they all believed.  
"Now what?" Jasper asked when I was done.  
"Welcome to the family." Esme said.  
"Welcome to immortality." I smiled.

A/N: Hope you liked it! Review!


	2. Bonding & Forks

A/N: Ch.2 of Cullen Family Values! R&R.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. And P.S. instead of the wreck being in 2010 it happened in 1982 just letting you know. Cause in this chapter I want to jump ahead until 2010. This chapter will be LONG.

Emmett's POV.  
_"I'm a motherfucking vampire." _I thought to myself. _"Does this mean I can turn into a bat?" _  
"Simpleton." Edward scoffed.  
"Huh bitch-boy?" I asked.  
"It seems that the change didn't heal your brain very much."  
"Oh yeah?" I stood up. "Let's see how fast your face heals after I rip it off." I got in his face.  
"Violence is always your answer, isn't it Mr. Linebacker?" He stood up. "Well give it your best shot." I swung and he ducked. I tried wrapping him up but he sidestepped.  
"I can read every move you think of." He tapped his temple. I walked slowly to him and tried a random hook but he caught it and threw me across the living room. I stood up and felt anger ripple through me, next thing I knew Edward went through the front window. I stopped dumbfounded and looked around at everyone who all looked at Edward besides Carlisle who simply told me.  
"Emmett look at the coffee table and try lifting it up." I looked at the table and focused. It rose slowly before shooting straight up into a chandelier. "Another gifted one." Carlisle stated.  
"Telekinesis." Esme said and I smiled.  
"Are we all gifted?" Rosalie asked.  
"I don't know; maybe we will just have to see with time, some vampires are reborn with certain gifts depending on traits from their human lives." Carlisle explained.  
"Cool." I smiled before lifting the bag of weed out of Jasper's pocket and dangling it over a candle.  
"My baby!" Jasper lunged and caught it out of the air. He landed on the ground and began petting the bag. "Daddy's got you Jack Herer; shh shh I'm here baby." He consoled the weed.  
"That's one desperate stoner." Rosalie said.  
"I'll say." Alice nodded. "So when can we go back to our families?" She asked.  
"Going back to your families would not be advisable." Carlisle said.  
"Why not?" Rosalie asked.  
"Maybe because we thirst for blood and might eat them." Edward stated.  
"So they deserve to know!" I exclaimed.  
"You'll just be putting them in danger." Carlisle attempted to calm me down. "And not only from yourselves."

Jasper's POV.  
_"Poor Jack Herer getting picked on like that." I thought. "He's just a little bud, he not hurting anyone." _I heard Edward chuckled a little.  
"And not only from yourselves." Carlisle said.  
"From who then?" I asked having slightly listened to the conversation that was playing as I consoled Jack.

Carlisle led us to an office with a large painting on the wall. Of some sophisticated men on a balcony.  
"Aro, Caius and Marcus." He began. "That is I in the background."  
"Who are they?" Edward asked.  
"The Volturi. The closest thing vampires have to a royal family." Esme answered.  
"Also the law." Carlisle added.  
"We have laws?" Alice asked.  
"Very few, only one is regularly enforced."  
"And that is?" Emmett asked.  
"Do not reveal our existence to humans."  
"So our parents are to believe what?"  
"That you all died in the crash and why your bodies are missing is for the authorities to decide."  
"So no more family."  
"That is your choice but it would only endanger them if you told them and perhaps scare them beyond imagination." He paused for a minute. "Why don't you all ponder it over a hunt? You must be thirsty." All of a sudden my throat began to burn slightly.

Edward's POV.  
I watched as everyone besides Alice and me worried over losing their families, we had no family to lose. We were mere orphans being tossed through the system ever since our parents died when we were six years old. Carlisle said we should hunt and my throat instantly began burning as did everyone else's according to their thoughts. Carlisle took us men on a hunt while Alice and Rosalie went the opposite way with Esme.  
"So I've made my mind." Emmett said. "I'm just gonna look over my family from the shadows and make sure they remain safe and sound, I think the whole your son s an immortal monster now would freak my mom out a little bit."  
"My mom would go Van-Helsing on my ass." Jasper said "It'd be all like 'The power of Christ compels you motherfucker!'" Emmett chuckled a little bit.  
"What about you Edward?" Carlisle asked.  
"My family is dead; it's just me and Alice."  
"You're related to sexy Alice?" Jasper asked wide-eyed. I nodded.  
"Twins."  
"Damn who'd have thunk it." Emmett said. "I used to dream of Alice having a three-way with me and Rose."  
"I'd fuck her little tight ass." Jasper said and he and Emmett knuckle bumped.  
"Boys please have more respect for Edward's sister." Carlisle said to which I silently thanked him.  
"Sorry Edward." Jasper said.  
"Yeah sorry man and sorry we got off on the wrong foot." Emmett patted my shoulder. "We're all bros now and we should act like it so how's this sound lets have some good old fashion male bonding." I read his thoughts and began to smile sadistically as did Jasper we said the next two words in unison.  
"Laser tag!" Carlisle looked dumbfounded to which Emmett wrapped an arm around his shoulder.  
"You have much to learn young grasshopper."  
"I'm over two hundred years old." Carlisle said.  
"Old grasshopper." Emmett corrected himself.

We had just gotten done hunting when we were about to leave but Carlisle stopped us.  
"You guys can't go out in public until everyone has forgotten your faces and your stories are old news in the media." Carlisle said.  
"How long could that take?" Jasper asked.  
"Hard to tell maybe a year or two." Emmett ran caught a deer filled his mouth with blood ran back and did a spit take.  
"A year or two?"  
"I know there are a lot of sacrifices but in time they will all seem miniscule." Carlisle said. "But in the meantime I have another idea."  
"What?" Jasper asked.  
"We are all faster than lightning and stronger than ten hulks put together." I read Carlisle's thought and put them into my own words.  
"Football." Emmett's eyes lit up like a fat kid at Golden Corral.

Emmett's POV.  
"Shit's about to get real!" I screamed. Drawing lines on my face with a magic marker. It was me and Jasper versus Carlisle and Edward. They had the ball first.  
"By the way we are unable to be harmed, bulletproof and everything. So don't worry about hurting each other."  
"Didn't plan on it." I smiled sadistically as Carlisle hiked the ball. And handed it to Edward who then began to run with it. I ran up and speared him. He went flying back fifty feet and crashed into the ground creating a massive hole in it.  
"Holy fuck!" I screamed.  
"That was fuck-nugget awesome!" Jasper and I jumped thirty feet in the air and bumped chests.  
"On the next play Carlisle passed to Edward who read my move to make the ball fly towards me and ran me over as I was focusing on it he caught the ball and plowed through Jasper who went flying into the forest and hit a tree. Edward ran between the 2 boulders which served as the touchdown spot.  
"Boom motherfuckers!" He threw the ball down and it exploded. "My bad guys."  
"Now what do we do?" Carlisle asked.  
"I have an idea." Jasper pulled out the baggy from earlier. I smiled, Edward looked nervous but in and Carlisle just shook his head.  
"Teenagers." He muttered as Jasper hit the bowl and passed it to me. I hit it once and felt pure nothing.  
"You guys are vampires now, drugs are useless." He patted pouting Jasper's shoulder.  
"What do we do for fun?" Jasper asked.  
"Like I said." Carlisle repeated. "Welcome to immortality."

*28 Years Later*  
August 2010.

Jasper's POV.  
"Jasper Alice! Put some pants on and get ready for school." Emmett yelled at us from downstairs. I looked over at Alice who had become my girlfriend in late 1983 and finally my wife in 1991. You wouldn't think a stoner and a cheerleader would click the way we did but we did, we clicked, a lot. But alas it was our first day at a new school in a new town. Welcome to Forks, Washington. This town holds a special place in Carlisle and Esme's heart because it was where they met in 1907.  
"Coming!" I yelled back.  
"Again?" Alice smiled a seductive smile before getting up and pulling on some underwear and tossing me my underwear. Ten minutes late I was in a black T-shirt, a white hoody and dark blue jeans and Alice ore a purple sparkly shirt and a white knee length skirt. Emmett and Rosalie came down from their quickie in the shower followed by Edward who was still, 28 years later, single but he didn't mind I the last 28 years he'd turn into a massive player. What girl wouldn't want a boy with Gold eyes and hair as shiny and coppery as a new penny?  
"What's a crack-a-licka-lackin' guys?"  
"He still ranked of the girl he met in a Seattle subway last week. Being immune to disease has left Edward with an I don't give a fuck who I fuck as long as they have tits and a vagina attitude.  
"Ya damn Straight Jazzy." He nodded. I felt Carlisle and Esme getting rowdy upstairs and decided it was time to leave. We eventually also discovered that I had the power to feel and manipulate other people's emotions and Alice could see the future, Rosalie insists that her power is awesome seductiveness but it only works on Emmett. Alice and I got into my black 2010 Camaro with green racing stripes, Emmett and Rose got into their red Jeep while Edward climbed into his Volvo. We headed to our first day of school at Fork's High.

Edward's POV  
When we pulled up all I could hear was the normal, 'Here are the new rich kid's' thoughts. They all believed that until our sexy asses stepped out of the cars. When we did a collective gasp ran through the air. I walked by a group of cheerleader and saw one brunette in particular who peaked my interest, she smelled of strawberries and sunshine. I stopped and began talking to her.  
"Hello miss, I'm Edward Cullen." I said in my smoothest, most velvety voce and I felt the air ripple as chills ran down her spine and heard the blood rush straight to her loins.  
"Bella." She smiled holding out her hand which I took and kissed. She then drug me to the football field underneath the bleachers.

Forty-five minutes later we came out from under the bleachers and she turned around, wiping some of my cum from her mouth and pulling her panties back up.  
"Here's my number big boy." She wrote her number on my hand and walked away. _"I'm in love." _I thought to myself.

Emmett's POV  
"So how's married life with a pixie Mr. Jasper?" I asked jokingly.  
'See this face Em?" I asked, pointing at my face. "This is my fuck you face, this shit is serious motherfucker." I said and he started laughing. I looked at Rose whose mind was drifting.  
"What up babe?"  
"I wanna buy some new shoes." She said and Alice jumped up like a hound that smelt a shopping trip.  
"You have four hundred and seventeen thousand six hundred and eight pairs Rose." Jasper stated.  
"No I don't."  
"Yes you do!" He screamed. "Remember you guys dared me to count both of your shoe collection, Alice has seven hundred ninety two thousand four hundred and thirty-two pairs. No more fucking shoes!" He yelled like another pair of shoes would end existence and I just chuckled. Edward sat next to me and I inquired at his awe-struck face.  
"Herpes?" I asked. He shook his head.  
"Love."

A/N: Edward is in love and yes Bella s a slut. R&R will get funnier. Open to story suggestions and character ideas! 


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